Stress always win over sex
Maybe you think there’s some kind of magick ritual — a secret spell I could whisper — that would flick your switch and bring your sex drive roaring back.
And honestly? I don’t blame you. Because when you’re carrying the weight of motherhood, the idea of doing more just to feel like yourself again feels impossible.
I get it.
I’m not here to give you more to carry — I’m here to help you gently lay it down, one piece at a time. I work with mothers in this exact space — overwhelmed, exhausted, touched out — and I’ve lived it too.
This isn’t about fixing you, it’s about helping you to feel safe enough in your body to receive again.
Your desire hasn’t disappeared — it’s been silenced by a body that’s doing everything it can to survive.
Today, I want to show you why stress will always win over sex — and how to begin your slow return to pleasure.
Your Body Will Always Prioritise Survival Over Fertility
Your body is not betraying you — it's protecting you.
When you're in survival mode, your nervous system diverts all its energy to what it thinks is most important: keeping you alive.
That means shutting down what’s non-essential for survival… like libido, ovulation, deep rest, digestion, and desire.
This is primal. It’s not a mindset problem or a lack of effort.
It’s the way your body has always been wired to respond to threats — whether that’s a tiger in the forest or a screaming toddler, an overflowing calendar, and not a single moment to yourself.
Did you know that your body is wired to perceive being left alone with a baby or young child as an imminent threat - you were never supposed to do this alone.
When you're chronically stressed, your brain sends a message to the adrenal glands: “Make more cortisol.”
And to do that, your body borrows from the same building blocks it needs to make oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone — the very hormones that fuel libido, sensuality, and the ability to feel soft, open, and connected.
This process is known as “pregnenolone steal” — and it’s why many mothers experience low sex drive, irregular cycles, night sweats, mood swings, and flat-out emotional shutdown.
Because biologically, your body has chosen survival over reproduction.
It will always do that until it feels safe again.
“But I Don’t Need to Be Fertile — I’m Done With Babies.”
Maybe your family is complete. Maybe you’ve chosen not to have more. Maybe just the thought of being touched or needed by anyone right now makes you want to hide under the doona.
But let me be clear — fertility isn’t just about making babies.
It’s about how alive your body feels. It’s a reflection of your vitality, your hormone balance, your creative force, your pleasure potential.
It’s the difference between just surviving motherhood… and actually thriving in it.
When your body is fertile — even if you never plan to conceive again — it means your sex hormones are doing their job:
Your energy is steady
Your sleep is restorative
Your libido is responsive
Your moods feel manageable
Your skin glows, your brain works, and your spark returns
Fertility is a vital sign — a pulse check on how safe, nourished, and resourced your body really is.
And when it's gone or disrupted, it’s a red flag your body is stuck in depletion.
So no — this conversation isn’t about baby-making.
It’s about life force.
It’s about helping you feel like you again.
What It Takes to Be in Survival Mode
Motherhood has become synonymous with chronic stress… but it doesn’t have to be.
When you succumb to expectations and the pleasing of ideals that aren’t in alignment with your needs and wants you can end up flooded with demands, decisions, noise, and pressure from the moment you open your eyes, until you finally (hopefully) fall asleep.
You’re producing cortisol from the moment you wake — and if your body doesn’t have enough nutritional reserves, it burns through your stores like kindling.
Cortisol is made from cholesterol, B5, vitamin C, and magnesium. When you’re under constant pressure, your body pulls from these nutrients non-stop. What doesn’t get replaced, gets depleted.
This creates the perfect storm: depleted adrenals, poor sleep, blood sugar crashes, inflammation, thyroid disruption, and eventually, hormonal imbalance. Add to that a nervous system in constant fight-or-flight, and your body has no space for pleasure.
Your body is doing her best with the resources she has. And she needs a break.
From Libido Hacks to the Real Healing Path
I know the temptation.
You’ve probably tried the aphrodisiac herbs, the essential oils, the sexy playlists.
You might have googled "how to get in the mood" while lying in bed completely numb.
Tried faking it… hoping it will come back if you just try harder… Nope. That’s just going to make your body feel more under threat — this is when we get pain in sex, shutdown, even dissociation. Your body keeps the score.
But here’s the truth: you can’t trick a body that’s still in fight-or-flight.
If your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, no amount of libido hacks are going to cut through the noise.
The real path back to desire starts with safety. With slowing down. With healing the stress response.
Then, and only then, do we rebuild your hormones. We nourish your adrenals. We balance your blood sugar. We restore your sleep, your energy, your boundaries, your softness.
And after that? We invite pleasure back in.
Not as another task. But as a birthright.
Want real, gentle support to start turning things around?
I’ve created a Sex-Magick Ritual Toolkit — with calming practices, sensual rituals, and nervous-system-safe ideas that don’t overwhelm you further.
These aren’t hacks. They’re invitations.
This is your first step toward a body that feels safe, soft, and ready to remember desire.
What You Really Need: A Guide Who Holds the Body and the Spirit
This is the work I do. And it's not just clinical. It's energetic and it’s sacred.
Because this journey isn’t just about fixing hormones — it’s about restoring your wholeness.
You need someone who can translate blood test results and help you release the guilt, the rage, the resentment.
You need someone who can see your depletion and your divinity to hold your Magick.
You need someone who can honour your shadow and your softness.
That’s where I come in. I hold the physiology and the energy. I walk beside mothers like you, every day, on the path back to pleasure.
The Pleasure Path Invitation
If you’re ready to stop chasing tricks and start healing your body from the ground up, The Pleasure Path is your next step.
It’s a free webinar where I guide overwhelmed mothers back to their bodies, their pleasure, and their power.
We’ll explore:
Why libido really disappears (and it’s not what you think)
How to heal stress pathways and reawaken sex hormones
Practical steps to come back into your sensual self — gently, in your own time
This isn’t just about sex. It’s about your aliveness.
