Imaginary friend or foe?
Did you or your child have an imaginary friend?
I had one myself who appeared around the around of 2 and stayed until mid childhood. Her name was Two, she had a pet Alligator and was from South Africa she would pop up when I was feeling emotionally overwhelmed and needed an excuse to get out of playing or needing a source of comfort.
My son, now 4 years old, has started talking more and more about his friend Matoodles. He lives on a space station and they have long conversations on the play phone. I am impressed at the expansive conversations they have.
How do you feel about imaginary friends?
Some parents may feel concerned or overwhelmed by the imaginary friend, maybe even worried about why the child has invented a character to fill this gap in their world or concerned that there is a spiritual attachment.
It’s normal and healthy for kids to invent pretend friends and characters in their world. Active imaginations allow for expansion in creativity, emotional intelligence as well as building social skills and coping strategies.
Our children are highly sensitive, highly attuned to their intuition and the emotional imprints that are stored within memories from those in their field and their own past lives, they are living on mission to expand hearts and minds.
An imaginary friend could come in any form, human or animal, completely invented or imprinted from a show, toy or story that they have heard or seen.
And yes I believe, our highly attuned children could indeed be communing with a spirit
An imaginary friend is someone who can listen to your child without judgement, encourage them to try new things and play with them, helping them to develop the skills to play independently.
This comes from a space that is within your childs control, the imaginary friend may come and go only at times of need, or exist only within a certain space like a play area.
They will grow out of it once the imaginary friend has taught them the skills that they needed through this developmental stage.
It’s usually harmless and beneficial for the child, until it isn’t benefiting the child i.e. scaring them or creating unhealthy codependency.
Or perhaps exhausting you with the rules of the game that you literally cannot see…
Having to set extra places at the table, cater to picky food choices or buckling in an extra child… just adds more work to your already long and frantic days.
Perhaps your child is blaming behaviour on an imaginary friend, or needing to consult the friend for choices that you wish your child would own as their own free will…
If your child has an imaginary friend, ask questions to find out more about them. Their interests and concerns can provide insight into your child's mind and how they are processing the world at this time.
It will foster trust and connection with your child to accept their friend as real to them. Play along, you could ask if the friend will be joining you for dinner or in the car ride but be clear and firm on your boundaries, especially when it comes to acceptable behaviour and requests you don’t need to pander to…
My brother’s imaginary friends weren’t allowed in our car - no spare seats so they surfed on the roof of the car wherever we went.
It can be so hard to parent our highly sensitive children with acceptance of their attunement to energetic beings of imagination, especially when our society has not proven acceptance of those who colour outside the lines. The witch hunt is still quite visceral in the memory of our bones and there is an innate protection mechanism to hide our intuitive knowings.
Our children need us to be comfortable embracing our own magick so that they can stand in the power of their own. If you’re struggling with accepting these attributes of sensitivities within yourself or your child I invite you to get in contact with me and we can explore that together.
If the imaginary friend is causing your child distress, has appeared after the child has been through a traumatic event, making them think negative thoughts about themselves or you are experiencing sudden changes in mood and behaviour, it may be time to seek assistance from a mental health professional who works specifically with children.