The myth of the Super Mum
How do you do it all?
How does she homeschool, consciously raise children and keep a home??
I do a lot… I am also neurodivergent, and have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and panic disorder, PTSD.
When I panicked about the state of things in 2020 I amped up my work and study thinking I had to save the world faster… I burnt out and ended up on meds for a little bit there.
They did their job to pull me up onto my feet long enough to work out where I needed to calibrate my rhythm and strengthen my physical body & gut health, and implement my practices again that support me mentally, emotionally and spiritually and then I was able to wean myself off my meds - a story for another day!
There’s no such thing as balance - if you are juggling you are going to eventually be dropping balls… or there’s some on the ground while you focus on like two at a time.
It’s more like homeostasis - a constant calibration of settings to allow for optimal ranges.
Expectations get adjusted & I have come accustomed to the fact that my housework has to come last for my own mental health.
My house is a mess, my walls are covered in dirty handprints that I don’t care enough about to prioritise the time to clean.
It takes a lot of compassion with the self.
My work and my study is something that strengthens me… when I come back from them I feel revived and it's easier to be present with my family as I have filled my cup.
If I’m not doing my work, or stimulating my mind with learning and studying about something I’m passionate about then I just don’t feel like ME. I feel lost and dazed and off purpose and that leads to frustration!
My intention lies in not over working as I can get lost in it for hours and take on too much for my energy levels - I need to hold myself to my boundaries.
And when I return to my family I am full and bursting with energy to give - to my kids and I’m full of love for my partner! Just try and contain me!!
My rhythm holds the space for me to flow inbetween the river banks of its structure.
It is the masculine support system that allows me the flow to uphold my feminine energy to create, nurture and provide comfort, food and spaces.
I clean my house based on my values. I value the food we eat and the safety of our hygiene so I make sure the kitchen is clean most of the time - that makes me feel accomplished. It has a space in my daily rhythm and I get to pop my noise cancelling headphones on and get to work whilst fuelling my mind.
With the rest, the basics get done and I call on the family to help. We keep a clean bathroom and I have encouraged the kids to help me clean that and the floors can resemble my inside/outside home… that’s just what happens when you always leave windows and doors open and encourage nature play and experimentations daily - in flows the dust and the leaves and the sand and so on..
I will end up saying to the kids ok everyone, we want to have a movie, or play this game on the floor so we all need to pitch in for 10 mins and work together to clean up so I can vacuum so we can play!
And we do!
I only have a small house so it's easier to keep it clean. The items that end up out everywhere are the things that my kids have been playing with or creating with so it's easier to not feel resentment when you are just living your passions side by side.
I love cooking so spending time on that feels good to me, my children play most of the time whilst I work on my business, my study and my personal development.
My kids play all day most of the time self directed and yes they watch screens while I get stuff done too, although they don’t have their own devices. We play nintendo and share that interest.
And that is how we “school” we are living our life and learning through play and exploration. I refuse to crack a whip to force my kids to sit down and listen while I “Teach”.
Learning is an invitation, and I know that they are learning all the time!
There's a space in our rhythm to read and I invite them to come join me whlist I journal, I find out what they are interested in, usually I have no choice in that matter they are talking my ear off about it… I make space to honour that project.
Sometimes it's harder than others!
Lately we have been so social, seeing friends and heading out to different parks and meet ups that we haven't had whole days at home to focus on the sewing projects we stated or unpack the science kit we were gifted… but the beauty of this life is that we can circle back to it when it comes up again.
Our homeschooling life is very fluid and we follow our interests until they wane and then we follow a different path of exploring a new topic of interest.
There’s no point in pursuing things that don’t bring you joy.
Why can’t life be that simple?
I understand I am privileged to be able to afford a life of leisure like this, I acknowledge it's not as easy for some.
But it does come with the choices in that I have built my business to support me putting my children first and I have encouraged my husband to follow a career that nurtures his strengths as well so that we are a stable unit with him working from home too.
I believe the New Way is to bring families back together, close knit and bringing the masculine counterpart into the dynamic of caring and nurturing alongside the feminine.
It’s time to say goodbye to the days of the father element working long shifts at work and the mother element slaving for the children… A collaborative village of interconnectivity and working together to raise the children is what the new world needs.
So the mother can explore her passions and share her wisdom with the world and be received in her feminine and so that the father can surrender into his divine masculine as protector and know his children for who they really are.
The super mum is a myth.
The super mum is a mask, a facade, a false profit that is fooling you into thinking you’ve got it wrong.
But I know if you are yearning to be in that light of getting to do all the things and thriving in your power then what your next step is… is self compassion.
Because to get to do all the things some things must wait and some things may suck for a bit and you need to know your values so you don’t let the most important balls drop.