As highly sensitive, emotionally empathetic mothers it can feel so frustrating when our children are reacting to their own sensitivities and we just can’t take that step back from our own triggers to pull the tools together to help guide our child to calm.

It should come naturally - you have been living like this for so long, coping and finding ways to adapt. You should be able to help your own child….

You know that you can meditate, visualize, use affirmations and breathwork…

Essential oils that are calming and take walks out in nature…

But it's like dealing with all of these different emotional and energetic waves on the daily is just burning you out and you're not even getting the space for these practices…

What do you really need to stay calm in the moment?

What are the tools to being able to step back from yourself and be there for your child?

You should be able to take a breath, ground into your anchor points, take a moment of silence behind the toilet door to reset, get your values in front of view, take a step back and see the bigger picture that your child is struggling and not trying to wind you up…

But the frustration expands when these simple tasks are NOT ENOUGH

They don’t work so maybe your just broken maybe your just a bitch of a mother, or selfish or can’t stop focusing on yourself long enough to be present for them… WRONG

The thing is that coregulation - which is what you’re looking for - being the calm grounded guide that your child needs to model the calm and the grounded abilities to hold their own energy - coregulation can only occur when you yourself are regulated.

And mumma you are balancing so many balls in the air right now you are far from regulated I’m sorry to say…

I know if your child isn't sleeping then neither are you… and if your child is struggling with nutrition then I’m guessing you're eating their scraps - and not getting the balance you need too…

So the best tools that you can implement to stay calm in the moment is regulating yourself.

You’ve been in survival mode for far too long and your body can tell on all levels.

Regulation is a wholistic approach to self care.

Its about acknowledging and making room for your own emotions that are rising to the surface.

It’s about knowing your needs and how to get them met - basic fundamental needs for safety and stability as well as your emotional needs, your energetic needs, your nutritional, physical and hormonal needs,

Often in our modern motherhood we can’t take many things off your plate. There’s a lot to manage and often it’s all on you - I get that so what we can do is help your nervous system manage the stress, build resilience to the pressures that are existing and create timelines that allow for rest for nervous system resets in a way that can complete the stress cycles so that you aren’t on a continuous loop to burnout.

We also need to acknowledge your spiritual needs, your relationship needs, sexual needs, your creative needs. As a mother you are not just a machine with a task list, you are a human who craves a desire to live life fully and be in feminine flow.

Creating a safe space for our feminine - builds our ability to respond rather than react.

It’s about knowing your desires and your passions and having them met, honouring your unique self, letting go of what barriers you have accepted that separate you from living in lust. We have been taught that to lust is a sin, but lust is simply a part of pleasure and denying yourself of what lights you up is not serving anyone.

(I trust in your values and morals and when you are value aligned you do not need to fear your lust)

To get these elements addressed we need to be clear and consistent with our boundaries, our compassionate communication ( non violent communication) and make room for them in the rhythm of our days, our weeks, our months, our seasons.

Allow yourself the freedom to unleash your individualized magick.

Then the regulation is so much more authentic. It is you, their mother, they intuitively feel your grounded base of safety extending a shelter over them…

Your aura expands and they can step into it, and their aura will sync with yours and this is energetic coregulation.

Once the child feels safe and supported then you will both grow in the confidence to thrive in your own energy fields.

When my eldest was 3 or 4 she would openly tell me that she NEEDS my energy field because hers was a big black scary hole.

She has always been so insightful, her intuition has floored me multiple times… awakening me to myself.

She would get more and more clingy and wild, explosive the more I tried to untangle myself from her.

Through our healing journey I learnt to give us both an energy bath that fills in the gaps of our aura by strengthening myself I strengthened my ability to hold her energy which gave her the confidence to grow her own energy out bigger and bigger.

Her confidence is an absolute pleasure to witness now! And I know when it begins to slip that its on me as her guide to build my own energy field back up again to shelter her in her stormy days.

What you really need to stay calm in the moment when guiding your highly sensitive child.