You can’t think your way out of survival mode
“I’m so irritable then hate myself for how I’ve snapped at the kids”
If you resonate, you’ve probably also thought you just need to get better scripting for when you’re low in patience.
You think you need more control over your reactions.
You think you need to be better, calmer, more reasonable.
You think you should have this under control and that you should know better.
Here’s what’s actually going on in your body.
Safety needs to be felt in the body. It’s not a decision. It doesn’t come from logic.
So when you snap, it’s not a mindset problem.
You know exactly how you want to show up.
Your body just isn’t getting the memo.
About 80% of the input to our nervous system comes from your body, it’s afferent, not from your brain. So no matter how much you affirm that you’re going to be a fun, calm, present mum today, if your body doesn’t feel safe, it’s going to tell the nervous system to GET READY BITCH WE ARE ON HIGH ALERT!
Chooooose your weapon…
Fight: the snappy bitch full of comebacks and snark.
Flight: keep everyone super busy and stressed so you never have time to think about how you feel. Rage clean, anyone?
Freeze: ok, we're not allowed to do either of those? Let's just shut down and freeze then. Check out, dissociate, doom scroll for a while.
What makes our body feel safe?
Our breath lands slow & deep.
Increased heart rate variability (HRV).
Stable gut motility, not too fast & not too slow.
A strong gut barrier with a balanced microbiome & no inflammation blocking nutrient absorption.
Regulated cortisol pattern, peaking in the morning, declining over the day.
Melatonin rises as cortisol falls, so you can fall asleep and stay asleep.
Regulated insulin so glucose moves into your cells to feed our mitochondria for energy.
Balanced meals with the right carbs, protein, fibre, fats and water for your individual needs, along with a broad range of micronutrients.
The identity underneath it all
Many of us have been living as the mum who doesn't have her shit together, the mum who is failing, the mum who isn’t worth the time or energy of nourishment, the mum who has to try harder than everyone else and push against collapse.
You might hear these thoughts daily, or maybe you have been pushing them down.
Either way, this is what keeps you stuck in survival. You get to choose to make yourself a priority and worth a bit of care.
What you need is replenishment and grounding - a full body approach that supports your gut, adrenals and nervous system as well as energetic support.
The best thing you can do for the moment
Take one minute right now to check in and name what state you feel in right now in your body, your emotional state, your thoughts and behaviours.
If words feel too hard, just give it a rating out of 10. No judgement. Just notice.
If you’d like deeper support, book a free connection call.
GROUNDED may be the right space for us to work through this together.
Love Dania
