Processing Maternal Rage
Motherhood rage is real.
There’s so much underlying it… depletions, self worth, martyrdom, nervous system dysregulation, loss of villages oh I could go on and on about how unsupported Motherhood is.
The point is we are carrying a fuck ton. From our own expectations and life demands as well as energetic patterning and imprints we are working so hard to heal and release.
You’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re not a bad mother.
You’re overflowing and your body has run out of subtle ways to signal this to you.
Rage is feedback.
When your nervous system, hormones and soul are screaming for safety - but you are too busy sacrificing your own safety for everyone else’s peace to listen to the quiet calls so your body is getting loud about it now.
Rage is not just emotional - it’s a physiological response.
A survival response.
Yes that’s right it’s your FIGHT response kicking in.
Halle-fucking-lujah, you DO have some fight left in you. It’s time to walk away forth martyrdom and finally prioritise your own needs.
It’s triggered in the body by:
Chronic cortisol spikes (you’ve been “holding it together” too long)
Blood sugar crashes (you skipped breakfast again, didn’t you?)
Estrogen-progesterone imbalance (hello, premenstrual snapping)
Gut-brain inflammation (hello, irritable gut = irritable moods)
And yes your emotions and your energetics feed back into these systems informing them on how safe you feel when certain issues arise that may appear as emotional or energetic triggers.
Let’s talk about brain chemistry
The Glutamate-GABA pathway that signals Go and SLOW in our responses and reactivity.
Simplified version:
Glutamate = GO. it is an activating neurochemical that turns you on and up for alertness and action. Too much… leads to anxiety, irritability and rage.
GABA = SLOW. It calms your brain and signals you to feel safe and relaxed giving you response time rather than reaction time. .
Both come from Glutamine, an amino acid we get from food and is also produced in a healthy gut environment.
glutamine → glutamate → GABA
But Glutamine to GABA conversion requires a healthy gut as well as resources like B6, zinc and magnesium which are all in high demand when you are stressed and or lacking reserves due to pregnancy, breastfeeding etc.
If we can’t complete the conversion we are left with a backlog of glutamate and not enough GABA to find our calm.
This is why you feel STUCK in survival mode. Easily triggered and prone to snapping, raging, panic, or simply shutting down.
What helps??
Stop suppressing your rage and start supporting the body to process it.
MOVE IT
Physically move this energy out of your body. Movement helps to clear stagnant emotions as well as activating your endorphins to find release and ultimately calm your nervous system.
Stomping, jumping dancing out your energy is a completely valid way to move this energy out of your body. Do it barefoot release it all.
Break stuff - go to a smash roof, or one of those axe throwing places find a safe place for you to let out some of that aggression.
Boxing is a safe way to release aggression that has been building up in you in a healthy outlet. Try a boxing bag, a class or shadow boxing to some music if you feel the urge.
Weight training is a grounding and empowering way to shift big energy like rage. You’re pushing your body to exert strength and helps your nervous system feel the stability it is seeking in a sensory challenge.
Running will boost your endorphins whilst giving you space to clear emotional baggage. getting out in nature is even better but following the rhythm of your steps pounding is a great moving meditation if you like this movement.
FEEL IT
Journal out your anger - scribble swear and stab the page if you have to! You can get as mad and as brutal as you need to be in a letter just for your own expression. Burn it at the end for a complete release if you need to.
Scream it out - you can scream into the pillow, scream along to some music lyrics that get you take yourself to the bush for a screaming a cry. Give yourself the freedom to feel what’s been pent up for so long!
Vagus nerve rituals - breath work, cold water, humming, singing, stretching - check out my article on vagus nerve rituals for more ideas here.
HERBAL SUPPORT
Nervine tonics like passionflower and skullcap unwind tension and return space for responding rather than reacting. Chamomile and lemon Balm as a daily nervous system tea can help support your nervous system to relax.
Motherwort supports anxiety related heart palpitations helps to hold and release grief fuelled rage.
Herbal adaptogens like withania (ashwagandha) help the body hold it all and build resilience to the stressors in your life and steadies your cortisol response.
Always consult a qualified herbalist (like myself) to ensure herbs are the right remedy for your individual needs as there may be contraindications based on your unique circumstances.
NUTRITIONAL SUPPORT
Eat a balanced meal of protein, fat fibre within an hour of waking to stabilise your waking cortisol levels.
Shelter from caffeine to avoid cortisol spikes - never on an empty stomach and avoid premenstrually.
Add a good quality source of Magnesium Glycinate, B6 and zinc - always consult with your practitioner to get the right form and dosage for you!
Drink your water - add a pinch of Celtic sea salt to support mineral balance.
ENERGETIC SUPPORT
Flower essence remedies bring awareness of what’s ready to be understood and unleashed from your energetic body. I use Australian Wild Flower essences like Pink Shamrock, Lomandra, Blue Mink, FreckleFace and Storm Lily in my remedies.
Ancestral lineage clearance - when it’s not all your own beliefs that you are carrying. You may be holding onto generations of passed down beliefs patterns and stories that no longer align with the life you are making for yourself.
Processing rage holistically means being able to identify what’s yours and what isn’t.
I guide women to uncover this and release these stories through energetic shadow work in my Priestess of Motherhood Mentorships.
You don’t need to do this alone.
If this has landed for you it may be time that you invest in deeper support in a container that is made right for you! Book your 90 minute initial consultation and I can hold you as we get to the root cause of what’s going on in your story, both energetically and in your body.