Supporting clingy kids

I know as a mumma of a child who constantly feels like they’re trying to crawl back up into my pouch, how hard it can be to help your child feel confident to stand on their own two feet in the world. 

Whether you are struggling with daycare drop offs like I was… where you are both in tears trying to say goodbye so you can go to work and struggling with all the myriad of anxiety symptoms that come from that separation… or feeling the pain of your child’s PANIC when they cry out that they can’t find you when you simply aren’t in the kitchen… low and behold you need to go to the bathroom. 

You just want them to run off and enjoy themselves but here they are clinging to your legs. The anxiety they are going through is enough to have you either tearing your heart out or tearing out your hair.

We want to be that supportive space for our kids to know they are safe and protected but it can be so draining to always have them up in our breathing space. The burnout is real, the overwhelm of always needing to be on, touched out and dying for a break. 

But you’re their safety net, how will they survive in the world if you can’t be around for everything?

You want your child to know they are safe in their bodies, to have the confidence to run off and play without worrying about you being within arms reach. To nurture their independence so they will grow with self worth and be able to hold their own energy without relying on another… 

Have you ever thought… “If not me, will they end up in some codependent relationship as an adult??”  I’ve had these thoughts before… it’s not what I want for my daughter.

If it feels like the umbilical cord is still super strong and tight between you and your child I want you to just take a moment and think about the energetic resemblance here. 

The umbilical cord provided nourishment as your child grew in the womb, at the base chakra level this represents safety and survival. 

See as an energetic healer I get asked about cord cutting quite a lot.

We have energetic cords of attachments to many things throughout life, whereas cord cutting can be thought of for toxic relationships or situations that still have a negative hold on you we have cords for purposes of survival attached at our base, purposes of sex and pleasure from our sacral, cords of power relations from our solar plexus, strong heart connections, communication cords and cords of visions and dreams and even cords connecting us to the spiritual realms from our crowns. 

The way we connect and share our energies with the world around us, with each other, forms our relationships with all we interact with. 

Our highly empathetic children have strong energetic connections to the world around them. Strong heart connections to people whom they are close with, be that you, their other parent, their siblings.

This is a gift to be nurtured and supported.   

This isn’t one of those cords that we want to sever! But instead our role as their guides is to strengthen their connection of cords across all energetic centres to a variety of people whom we trust.  

The goal of this guidance is to promote balance within the energetic cord system. 

Whenever our child with a strong heart connection feels that heart cord being stretched, thinned or weakened when we try to encourage independence before they are ready to trust their environment, then panic modes set in, especially if they feel it is the only cord they have to their centre of survival. 

In comparison as a mother who takes on the responsibility of being the child's only anchor to stability and safety this puts a massive weight on our energetic attachment through our navel - our sacral energetic space for creativity, passion and emotional energy. Cue waves of guilt and depleted reserves of knowing one's authentic path outside of being a mother. Cue relationship issues with partners when you feel your passion and connectivity sliding down the priority levels. 

Balance is everything here.

We must remain nurturing of our child’s heart connections and confirm for them that what they feel as a strong emotion of love between you is never going to change even if you are out of sight, as well as providing opportunities for our child to strengthen cords of survival and other energetic layers to perhaps their other parent, grandparents or family friends who can also extend care. Your trusted village is an important resource to expand in a way that lets your child build connections and trust with others in your tribe.

When my daughter was at the peak of struggling with separation anxiety and I wasn’t able to be by her side I reminded her that we have a special heart connection, a rainbow bridge that flows from my heart to hers and back again. Along this line she can send me all her love and thoughts when I am far and I will feel them in my heart and I will be able to do the same for her. It’s still something we use today to help her sleep and now, although she still loves to climb up into my lap she astounds me daily with how much her confidence has grown. 

To be able to guide our children to own their energy we model to them that they are safe, connected, powerful, loved unconditionally, heard, seen and worthy and it has no need to close down our nurturing or cut off our heart connection, but for them to see this in practice we must first enact this for ourselves and bridge our own energetic cords into connection and balance with the way we interact with the world around us.  

If you would like to work with me in a private mentorship journey please send me an email, I’d love to be your guide. 

Thank you so much for joining me on this magical mothering journey!